To Do list

... Homework
... Get fit
... Do well in School
... Find a Companion
... Get to lvl 99!
... Become Creator Class on RO

Reading List

... The Metamorphosis
- Franz Kafka(current)
... The Artist's Way
- Julia Cameron
... Last Sam's Cage
- David A.Poulsen (finished)
... The Sight
- David Clement Davies (finished)

Upcoming Events

... Samhain (31/10/05
... Sister's Birthday (22/11/05)
... Trip to Africa (??/??/??)

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The WeatherPixie

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Metamorphosis

These past few days have been... like no other. School started three days ago, it would have started earlier but there were registration problems. I have been so sheltered in my room, I have been living under a rock. Unchanged, preserved, sheltered. But my best freind told me something... something secret... she was quite non chalant about it... but for me... it was a milestone. It was something that had remained a topic of jokes for as long as I can remember. It was my first time I have ever encountered anything in this light. What did she tell me? You, the anonymous audience will never know. It is not important, to you at least. What happened afterwards is what I am posting.
Something that should have been so obvious, has finally dawned on me. At long last, I have come across something everyone learns eventually. Through my ignorance coating my mind; thick and black; sheltered in the depths of my room; I finally saw what many people my age may have been seeing since they began their quest in life. Adulthood. There it stands, a looming figure before me. Immanent, unavoidable. Terrible and awesome in all it's reality. So soon has everything I once knew come to crash and burn at my feet, with a macabre smile upon it's face like a matyr on his day. Like a phoenix it emerges into a truth that has finally taken flight. I am not a child anymore. My friends are not children either. Next year we'll be in university. Laboring long and hard to get our careers, to make our lives better, to move out, to be independent. Things will not stay the way they have always been. They have already changed. Old has taken flight for new, rebirth has occurred in many people already.
Why was I so desperately clinging to things that would inevitably fly away anyways? My parents, my childhood,the way I have lived, the way my friends were. Was I that naive to think things would always remain that way? Did I seriously think that I would always be able to play, and screw around all day? Joke about boys? Sex? Think it was all just some innocent game of who could be the wierdest? I did not want things to change, I liked things the way they were. But time is ever flowing, cells ever multiplying, things ever growing. My friends have changed... have I changed? I don't know. Perhaps I am just emerging, late but still a wonder of life like all the other butterflies. But today... I looked at all that has change and realized... it is so beautiful... tragic too, yes, we're getting older... but still so beautiful... I would like to change too... I do not want to be left behind to remain in the false security under my rock.
I love my friends and I love my family. If they wait for me to finish emerging, I hope we will be able to all fly together in the beautiful blue sky, still ever changing.

Most of all I love you chumly, I am honored to be your friend. I will be there for you through thick and thin. I am always worried about you, even if you are perfectly alright. Don't ever worry that I am worried, it's just a best friend thing. I may emo or freak out sometimes, but somethings need time to sink in. But always remember, I will always be there to catch you if you ever fall. Forever.

Kat posted at 11:00 p.m..

2 Comments:

At 7:34 a.m., Blogger joegonzo02098215 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:54 p.m., Blogger Rory said...

That actually brought a tear to my eye. You're so sweet, Kat. I love you.
Your friend,
Rory

 

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Me


Name: Kat
Home: Alberta, Canada
About Me: To my knowledge, Harum-scarum means reckless.I play a lvl 97 Alchemist on the iRO chaos server. Currently soul searching, trying to understand who I am. I'm shy, quiet; which tends to leave me feeling lonely. This is my last year of highschool before real life begins... I couldn't be less prepared for it.
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